Lose It All
by Shinigami Akumu
Summary: After Ed's disappearence at the end of the series, Roy will pay the ultimate price to see him again. Oneshot.


**Lose It All**

Okay, I just kinda got this idea out of nowhere. It's not very long for a one-shot, but I think it's nice. Don't run away because of who the song is by(the Backstreet Boys) because the lyrics are still beautiful. Review and let me know how it is, alright?

* * *

Edward Elric was gone. In his place, Alphonse had returned, his flesh body once again his own. Since it happened, Roy had never used his alchemy again. He continued attending work, but he spent most of his time in the libraries, researching. _There's something I have to do…and no one can change my mind._ Because in Roy Mustang's mind, there was only one way to make things right again.

_

* * *

Take what you need_

_Cause I can't hold my breath_

_Say what you feel _

_Cause I've got nothing left_

"Colonel, sir…"

"At ease, Hawkeye." Roy continued staring out the window.

She dropped her saluting hand back down to her side. "I…wanted to speak with you."

"About…?"

"I want to stay by your side, Roy…I want to be with you. I…"

"…love me?" He reached up and gently touched the black patch that covered most of the left side of his face. "My apologies, Hawkeye…I don't think I can returnthose feelings."

"I…I understand, sir." Trying to prevent the tears from spilling, she saluted again and quickly exited through the thick wooden doors.

Roy sighed and leaned his forehead against the cool glass. _Let it rain…because maybe, it's raining where you are, too._

_

* * *

I made a promise to myself last night_

_I'm gonna keep it if it's wrong or right_

_And if I lose it all_

_There'd be nothing left to lose_

_And I would take the fall_

_Cause knowing you are out there breathing_

_It's so wonderful_

Mustang stumbled into his small home after a night of drinking more than he should. Without even removing his shoes, he flopped down onto the bed and buried his face into the pillow. Ed had gone missing hardly two weeks ago, and he was sinking further and further into a deep pit of nothingness. _I thought I loved you, Riza…_but after Edward's disappearance, he could think of nothing but how to bring him back. He had obtained all the information possible, and none of it made any sense-but he had come up with a plan.

At last he sat up and carelessly pulled off his coat and shoes, tossing them to the floor. As he laid back on the bed, he pulled out a crumpled paper from the drawer of the nightstand and stared at it with the bright flashes of lightning. Roy slowly traced his fingers over the lines of the transmutation circle he had decided upon. _I have no one left here…I promise you, Ed…I'm going to get to you, one way or another._ Clutching the paper in his hand tightly, he fought to get what little sleep he could before his fall.

_

* * *

It's a chance I take_

_Even if I break_

_And I lose it all_

_If I lose it all_

_It wouldn't matter anyway_

"Where's the colonel?" Hawkeye looked over at the lower ranking officers.

Havoc shrugged. "He's gone? He was here earlier…"

Riza frowned for a moment, before a thought came to her.

_"My apologies, Hawkeye…I don't think I can return your feelings."_

"Oh no…" She ran towards his office and pushed the heavy doors open with all her strength. As expected, no Colonel could be found there. Instead, papers and other office items littered the floor. His desk was clear because of it, except for one envelope, and his silver state alchemist watch.

With trembling hands she picked it up and ripped it open slowly. Havoc and crew stood behind her, waiting anxiously to find out what the hell was happening. Her eyes moved over the words quickly, but she was hardly halfway through before she gasped in shock, leaving the paper to flutter to the floor. It looked much like any other paper there, but held an entirely different meaning.

Riza grabbed her coat and ran out of the building as quickly as she could, trying to determine her destination.

_My subordinates, _

_Consider this my letter of resignation, as I am no longer of any use to the military. I will use alchemy only one more time. Regretfully, I will never see any of you again. Edward is on the other side of the gate, and that is all I know. Crossing over will be no easy matter, but I have my ideas. If I don't make it over…death will be inevitable, considering I feel like I've already died. I think I knew all along…who I really loved. My greatest apologies to you, Riza…this is why I can't return your feelings. I hope you can understand. To the rest of you-don't think on it long, but, perhaps, wish me luck. I have nothing left to lose._

_Roy Mustang_

_

* * *

Don't change a thing_

_Perfect as you are_

_Time has a way_

_Time is all I got_

_If my heart should shatter watching you_

_That'd be one less thing I have to prove_

Roy carefully placed the white roses onto the grave of his best friend, and smiled a little. "You're not here to stop me from doing something stupid this time…" He glanced up to the darkening sky. "Let it rain…but this isn't stupid, is it, Maes? Dying for the one you love…isn't that the ultimate way of showing how much you care?" The sky began crying, but Roy could shed no tears of his own as he brushed his hand through his damp hair, pushing it back.

He backed up a few feet and kneeled in the dirt. With a shaking hand, he began drawing the circle in frustration as the rain kept washing it away. "Come on, damn it…" Roy began digging out the mud, etching the circle deep into the earth under his knees. "I promised you, Ed…we'll meet again." It never occurred to him that he would have to pay a price to get what he wanted. Roy closed his eye and smashed his hands into the mud, activating the circle with a bright red glow. He could feel his soul slipping away from himself as he fell forward into the mud.

Riza had been driving around aimlessly for what seemed like hours, looking for someone she feared she would never see again. Coming to the place she felt was least likely, she stepped out of the car, into the rain once again.

"Colonel! Colonel!" As she feared, no one answered her cry. But even full of fear, she pushed forward, searching for one, specific grave. The closer she came, the more her dread grew. And at last, she came upon the sight that made her heart shatter into a million pieces, never to be mended again. Mustang laid in the mud, his body limp and lifeless in the middle of a circle she'd never seen before. On the ground beside, him, a paper, held down by the weight of a small photograph.

She dropped down beside him and shook his shoulders, hoping with all her heart that he would wake. "Colonel! Roy! Roy! _Roy Mustang!_" Hot tears fell down her cheeks, mixing with the cool summer rain. "Answer me! Please! Roy…please! For god's sake, _answer me! PLEASE!_" But no answer ever came. She sobbed into his cold, wet shoulder. "W-What can I do…?" Slowly she brought out her gun, placing it under her chin and closing her eyes.

"Riza…please…" She jumped at the voice, almost pulling the trigger on accident. She looked down, but Roy had never moved. Instead, a hand gently touched her shoulder as someone kneeled beside her. "This won't bring him back…" She dropped her pistol into the mud and grabbed onto Havoc tightly, sobbing into his jacket.

"Why…why? Why did he leave…?"

For a moment, Havoc could come up with no answer. _Why…?_ "Because…he believed in something…and for that, he was willing to risk everything…and pay the ultimate price." He looked down at his long-time friend. _I hope you know what you're doing, Roy…_

Roy found himself in a place filled with bright light. Somehow, the brightness didn't pain his eye, and there was no need to shut it again.

"Where am I…?" He whirled around, coming face to face with the gate. He stared up at the giant structure as the two doors opened. "The gate…" He stepped closer to the darkness, and the hundreds of eyes watching him. "Take me to Edward! Edward Elric!" As if it understood, black arms reached out and pulled him in. And even through the darkness, he could see light and…"Ed!" The short blonde walked down an unfamiliar street with another blonde that Mustang couldn't recognize, but Ed was there-that's all that mattered. "Why can't you hear me? ED!"

Suddenly, there was great pain in his right arm and legs. Instinctively, his left hand reached for the hurting arm, but grabbed only air. A glance downwards only confirmed that his right arm and legs had disappeared, leaving only pain._ Equivalent exchange…my arm and legs…_ The closer he came to the light, the more blinding it became, until he could see no more.

_

* * *

Heaven will be waiting_

_When I fall into your open arms_

_I believe you'll find it here_

_You'll find it here_

When the darkness was gone, Roy could hear the pitter patter of rain on the ground, and feel it as it soaked into his hair and what was left of his clothing. His eye opened, but all he could see was red-his own blood-pooled out under him. Even the arm he still had refused to move in all his pain. _Am I…going to die here?_ He looked about helplessly for someone-anyone-who could help him. _Am I really…where I want to be? But I'll pay any price…to see you again. _

As Edward and Alphonse Heiderich turned the corner, on the way home after a hard day's work, the shorter boy stopped suddenly and stared down the alleyway they called their shortcut.

"Ed? What the mat-" The other boy finally spotted it, too. "Oh my God! What is-"

But before he could even finish asking the question, Edward dropped his things into the muddy water and ran towards the bloody form on the stone.

Roy could just barely hear the tap of boots coming his way and a gentle voice that seemed faint and distanced. However, he no longer had the strength to turn his head and look. _How long have I been here…?_

"Roy? Roy!" Edward dropped down to his knees and lifted the much lighter man into his lap as best he could. "What the hell happened to you? What are you doing here?"

With eyes half-lidded, Roy smiled up at him just a little. "I had to…see you again…" His voice sounded strained and weak, but still held a beautiful tone that the blonde had always treasured.

"Why the hell would you do that? Are you suicidal, Mustang!"

A little bit of his trade-mark smirk came back as shaky fingers brushed through Edward's hair before falling back toward the ground.

"I love you, Ed…"

_And if I lose it all_

_There'd be nothing left to lose_

_And I would take the fall_

_Cause knowing you are out there breathing_

_It's so wonderful_

_It's a chance I take_

_Even if I break_

_And I lose it all_

_If I lose it all…_

_It wouldn't matter anyway_


End file.
